Self care through kindness and charity
I haven’t written here in so long that it almost feels like a foreign feeling. A strange act of baring my soul, something I should be ashamed of perhaps.
But today I am not here to talk about myself. I am here to talk about a curious discovery I made throughout the course of the past couple of years of staying at home and managing my own life.
In that sense I guess I am here to talk about myself.
Self care is usually given a lot of importance in the mental health community, and with good reason. But many people find it very difficult to engage in acts of self care, either because they cost money (like going out to get yourself something nice once in a while) and therefore result in guilt or because they take too much time (like pursuing a hobby) or simply because the thought of caring for yourself seems silly.
There is one thing, however, that is a very effective way of taking care of yourself.
It is through charity. Now I believe that unless you’re a truly evil person inside, you must care about something, some cause in the whole world. It could be animals or the environment or education or kids or whatever. Identifying what you care about, and taking action in that direction, I have found, has tremendous healing powers.
I personally care about quite a few issues but I think out of everything, the cause that moves me the most is animal welfare. In 2019, out of nowhere, a beautiful parrot started frequenting our apartment. We found out she was actually someone’s pet, later. Regardless, I started feeding her and caring for her. I would wake up at the crack of dawn if she came and called me outside my room. Nobody had been able to make me do that till she came along.
The simple acts of interacting with her and feeding her completely changed my mindset. In retrospect, the shift in how I looked at things before and after I started caring for her is incredible. I was generally happier and more optimistic. I was also more resilient, emotionally, and had the ability to cope with setbacks more easily.
Her family moved away early last year and I miss my winged companion to this day. Here is a sweet little picture of her:
Then lockdown happened and the first worry I had was about the street dogs in our locality. Who would feed them? I also wrote about this in a previous story here. I was distressed and I think I lost a couple nights of sleep before I decided to take action and go downstairs and start caring for them as well.
It has been almost a year since I made that decision and I couldn’t be happier. What started as a temporary arrangement, has turned permanent and I have successfully earned the trust of these beautiful pure souls who are absolutely delighted every time they see me, whether I arrive bearing gifts or not. They are easily the brightest parts of my day. And again, I am better for it because I know that in my own tiny way, I am making a difference in the world. I know that even if nothing goes right, I would have done this one good thing. Most days that is enough to make me smile.
My point is, self care doesn’t always have to look like bath bombs and expensive pastries. Now I won’t ask you to take medical advice from a stranger on the internet, especially one who has no experience in mental health (professionally speaking) but I would still like to urge you to try taking action for your cause. Even if you feel like you despise yourself and can not possibly think of doing anything nice for yourself, it’s okay. You can do something nice for others and in the end, you’ll like yourself a little more for it, and they will be a little better for it.
